of course

I know they mean to, fully intend to--my students who don't do what they should. Had every intention, if only, if only. Often enough, that's true. It's not as if my own life isn't sometimes built on great expectations that gradually diminish into good-enough-I-suppose as the hours and deadlines tick by.

But I really thought she'd come to school, at least today, the first non-homebound morning of motherhood. It's only a two-day week. Nothing to do but leave a message, wait and see. Hope for the best. But, it doesn't bode well. It hasn't really gotten hard yet, and the novelty has barely started to wear. I have a sneaking suspicion that her teachers were saving up work for when she was sitting here in person and the semester's in its waning weeks, and the homework's behind and the daddy's stressed and the money's tight and the jobs are starting and the sitter's a wildcard and the social worker's AWOL and honey, why aren't you here?