Careful what you Google for

During the weeks that I've been caught in a web of referrals to one specialist and then another--despite the fact that I'm fine--I've done my share of medical Googling. It's a risky proposition, given the number of hypochondriac agoraphobes who have internet access these days, but I'm a Knowledge is Power kind of gal. Weeding hysterical message board postings out of search results is just the price I pay for a little manufactured peace of mind.

Sometimes, of course, there's no peace of mind to be found. Nothing good, I can assure you, comes from typing urology exam "what to expect" into the search box. Memo to Google: Greying out that "I'm feeling lucky" button for certain queries would be a lot kinder, don't you think? While I am glad to lack the parts that urologists seem especially interested in, I'm afraid I may have clicked myself into at least one catheter-themed nightmare.

At least I did stumble onto something distracting to read while I cross my legs and cringe: The Whiteley Index: A Self-Test for Hypochondria. It's a test I'm guaranteed to fail--I'm fine!--but, for some reason it's the funniest thing I've read all day. (Question 4: If you feel ill and someone tells you that you are looking better, do you become annoyed?) If I had as little to do with my life as the anonymous Iowan, I'd spam that survey all over those aforementioned message boards, but, happily, that's not remotely the case. Instead, I'll keep myself busy, and not think about Thursday, and not Google anything that ends in -ology!