All she wants to do

According to Stltoday.com, "someone who 'publicly espouses the mass destruction of innocent human beings'" will menace my fair city this Saturday night. Who should we be battening down the hatches against? You tell me:

A) Dick Cheney
B) Janjaweed leader Musa Hilal*
C) Sheryl Crow
D) Pol Pot, back from the dead

Just too easy, wasn't it?

Of course the answer is singer, songwriter, cancer survivor and former girlfriend to the stars Sheryl Crow, and that infuriating characterization comes courtesy of St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke.


Crow, as the ticket I hold in my hot little hand tells me, is returning to her home state this weekend in order to perform at a fund raiser for the Bob Costas Cancer Center at Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital. Burke objects to Crow's positions on abortion rights and stem cell research and thus has resigned the Cardinal Glennon board in protest. That's his right, and a principled if pridefully public position, but one that also seems to include the equations blobs of protoplasm = "innocent human beings" and children with cancer = political pawns. Jesus Christ!

never struck me as such a grandstanding kind of guy. Then again, he never supported any multi-billion dollar institutions, either, and I don't mean children's hospitals. Crow is admittedly political: anyone who's been in touching distance of Karl Rove has certainly given it up for The Cause. However, she won't be making any speeches on the Fabulous Fox stage this weekend; she'll be singing to support a foundation that has raised more than $10 million for a hospital that treats children regardless of their "medical condition or social, religious, ethnic or economic backgrounds," or the fact that their parents voted yes on Missouri Constitutional Amendment 2 to allow stem cell research.

According to the same article,

"This event is about helping sick kids," [Cardinal Glennon board member Allen Allred said.] "I'm disappointed and saddened there are people in our community who are attempting to use this event to further a political agenda. If we go down that road, do we start asking doctors for their positions on abortion? Do we quiz every single donor what they think of embryonic stem cell research before accepting their money?"

To Mr. Allred, I say amen and hallelujah. To Archbishop Burke, I say enjoy your Saturday night, if that's possible in your world. I certainly will.

*Darfur, but I should've made you look it up