Two dead in Iowa

Well, not in the literal sense, but Chris Dodd and Joe Biden have dropped out of the race for the Democratic nomination following tonight’s Iowa Caucuses. Whatever made them think America would vote for someone named Chris or Joe anyway? I wonder how long the lease is on the house Dodd rented in Des Moines?

My guy John Edwards finished second and there’s no shame in that. At least he topped Hillary. And Iowa launched a rock star in Barack Obama. Let’s just hope he doesn’t go screaming into microphones like the last guy.

I’ve mentioned before how out of perspective the Caucuses are, and tonight’s experience didn’t disappoint. Record turnouts for both the Democrats and Republicans were the ultimate test of the quirky caucus process. Somehow it worked, but it wasn’t anything like the folksy neighborhood gatherings the MSM likes to portray.

I walked to the elementary school that serves as the polling place in my precinct, taking a survey of neighbors who don’t clear their sidewalks. Upon arrival promptly at 6:30 we were at the end of the line that stretched out the door. By 7, we were in the gym.

You remember elementary school gyms don’t you? There may or may not be a regulation sized basketball court, but there are walls where bleachers go in high school. I found myself wondering about the capacity rating until it was finally announced, about 7:30, that there were 335 registered voters in the room. Of course, that didn’t count “observers” and children.

I’m all for teachable moments, but all those kids learned tonight was it was too damn hot in that gym with that many people in it.

We clustered for our candidates – although it was difficult to distinguish one group of sardines from another – and everyone was counted. Results were announced and supporters of unviable candidates – those with less than 15 percent -- were initially given 30 minutes to realign. Cooler heads prevailed and the game of musical chairs was reduced to 15 minutes.

It was around 8 when they finished the recounting. The results were fairly predictable for my precinct. Obama had around 200 supporters, Edwards had 71 and Clinton trailed with 60.

I’m not convinced the results would have been any different if, say, the polling place had been open all day and you could walk in at your convenience and cast your ballot in five minutes instead of two hours. But that’s just me.

The Iowa Caucus system pre-dates statehood, so I wouldn’t think to challenge it. But this first-in-the-nation stuff has to go. It’s one thing to have to put up with all of the phone calls and commercials. But when you interrupt the season premier of "The Apprentice" you’ve crossed the line.

Thanks for coming though.