hypemobile

Chicken Little went to work today, or perhaps he didn't. So the falling of the sky shall be postponed until tomorrow, or perhaps even Monday. At least that's what they're hoping. But it has to fall. It MUST fall. If it doesn't, what will they talk about? Is anything else going on in the world?

Here in my universe, a five mile stretch of a major East-West highway has been shut down for a year. A pain in the ass to be sure, though less of a personal aggravation that's next year's project, which will close a different five-mile stretch that I use quite a bit more often. In the meantime, though, the local media have been working up to a frenzy and and hinting of Armageddon. When they're not playing local PR machine and claiming that all will be fine. As long as one sells one's house or telecommutes or takes the fairly crappy public transit (don't eat or spit, they helpfully instructed us) or plots a daily commute by computerized trip planner that--this is my favorite--may, so sorry, still send one down the not-currently extant Highway 40. HA.

Today was Day One, and apparently there was no traffic to speak of. I'm sure the reporters nearly shed a tear, especially those sent out to ride empty West County buses at the crack of dawn. But, you know, vacation day. Eventually there will be traffic! Dammit! And we will hear all about it! Over and over and over. Or at least those who watch the news will. I've even given up on the traffic-and-weather-together reports during my own commute; in my car, it's all loud music, all the time. If I'm stuck in a jam, I don't need a guy in a helicopter to taunt me.

Besides, next week those unnecessary and obvious reports would just interrupt my flashbacks to Pope Day, back in '99, maybe, when the predictions of masses of pilgrims--as if this were South America and not Middle--and the accompanying traffic so backfired that no one came to see John Paul II, almost literally. I know this tv and newspaper freakout won't get me the surprise day off with pay that that one did, but a girl can dream.