name that school

Nobody went to school today, at least nobody in the Bi-State; eight to ten inches will do that. The school closing list is hundreds of names long, including, as always, Saint Everybody and His or Her Brother, and Our Lady of Really, That's in the Bible? Mixed in with the K-12 districts and the universities and colleges, though, are now bonus listings for anyone easily amused and grateful to not be in need of childcare. How far we've come since I was a kid, when the only thing to laugh at was the Hickey School (it's still there, and I still snicker a little, age not equaling maturity).

I mean, I suppose the 3D Child Prep Academy has some other Ds in mind, perhaps Discipline and Determination or Destiny, who knows, but I can't help but picture little kids walking around with glasses with colored lenses and cardboard frames. Better that than Angels Dream's Daycare, perhaps, home of poorly punctuated and somehow morbid fantasies, or Balloons Bears and Babies, which--I don't even have the words. Balloons Bears and Babies? What is that supposed to even mean to a parent? Perhaps some folks from the Future Genius' Learning Center could explain what it's all about. In the future, when they're geniuses. Today, my guess is it's the same as the Fairytale Daycare Educational Center or the Kiddie Castle Child Development Center. It's really not so bad! It's fun! It's school! It's closed for the day, so good luck getting to work, Mom.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the Training Up Child Development Center. Even though or because I can finish that verse, I think I'm sitting up straighter just typing the name. As for The Chosen Ones Learning Center, well. I'll leave that one alone; it scares me. But there's one final school that I can't help but question. I know with cable that the radius of closings runs hundreds of miles, further than it ever did when I was a student and the list was just on the radio. But, the Land of Oz Academy? For real? I must arrange a visit.