Such a small town

Every now and again, this small city where I was born, raised and have lived most my life really embarrasses me. Case in point, a consultant has recommended the city change the name of its recently-closed landfill to something less unpleasant than "Mount Trashmore." Except that's not even the official name of Cedar Rapids/Linn County Solid Waste Agency (formerly Bluestem) Site No. 1.

A county supervisor I support is even advocating a naming contest. Really?

This could be fun, but isn't that like giving yourself a nickname?

The story in the local paper where I once worked (first as a paper boy, later as a reporter and, briefly during the meltdown, stuffing ads into the paper before distribution in the wee hours), was written by a former bowling team partner. Could this place be any less cosmopolitan?!

Right now "Trashmore" fits the looming brownish hill, but it will look better once the capping process now in progress is finished -- or so we're led to believe. "It's going to get 'greened' up and flowers will be planted on it. It's going to look nice one of these days -- very park like," the supervisor said.

How about "Park Like Place" for a name?

"The name Mount Trashmore likely was playfully attached to the site some 30 years ago by the media when it was not a high hill," The Gazette "reports." "There was talk then, perhaps not all that serious, of making it a ski hill when it was done."

Why not "Aborted Ski Hill" for a name?

The possibilities seem endless as I recall the stench that greets users of the cool urban trail that now skirts the former dump.

Mount Methane?

Hold Your Breath Hill?

Stinky's?

Or, perhaps the "greening-up" could include blueberrys so we could have our own Blueberry Hill. Adolescents in this town could use an alternative to First Avenue for finding their thrill.

Submit your ideas here and I'll pass them along. There's gonna be a contest, don't ya know? Please stop them from making a reference to the "City of Five Seasons." Come to think of it, what does the consultant have to say about that silly moniker?