Maybe next year

When you're born on a Friday the 13th and, in my case, the same day (but not year) as Fidel Castro, gift-getting options are limited, or so has been my experience. It's not like being born on Christmas, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day or, even, Cinco de Mayo.

But it pays off every once in awhile. Take Monday, for instance, when I received the third best present I could have hoped for. Here's the Daily Show's take on the matter, which should tell you what gifts number 1 and 2 would be.