Go, Go Gadget

Unlike my friend who says they're the worst invention ever, I don't really have a hang up (get it?) about cell phones. There’s no doubt our phones have been used far more times to ask for an emergency ration of trash tacos than they have to find a last-minute ride for Madison while I sit in traffic, but sometimes junk food on demand is what makes life worth living. If some Sunday the entire congregation is again treated to the Sopranos theme ringtone from my accidentally unmuted handset, we'll just mark that down as a way technology enriches our lives.


I'm a reasonably well-mannered grown-up. I know when to turn a phone off or put it away, and if I don't want to be found, that's why God created Caller ID and voicemail. It's not a tool of the devil; it’s just a phone. And for the longest time, just a phone is all I wanted. Does it work as a phone (and not a camera, MP3 player, PDA, game boy, automated dog walker, or GPS)? When I talk, will you indeed hear me now? Fabulous. Vice versa? Even better. And just as importantly, is it free?

Perhaps a little perversely, considering where half the household paychecks come from, those have long been my only standards. Whether he took it as a personal challenge or just a way to express his generous and patient nature, Scott has been bringing home a string of new phones for me to glance at and reject as too heavy, too ugly, too awkward, too manly, too expensive, or too unnecessary. I wasn't trying to be rude; I just couldn't imagine that I cared--until he found the expensive and unnecessary phone that I really wanted for no good reason. So, um, far be it from me to deny him the pleasure of giving something to the person he loves. Everybody needs a new toy sometimes, right? Besides, if this means I can still get my email the next time the power goes out for days on end, I'm sure we'll all be a little less cranky.