Thanksgiving gone bad

Not mine, fortunately. I slept until I was ready to wake up (which would be my preference every day) and enjoyed another Favrelous Packer victory, coaxing the Mrs. and the Miss downstairs to enjoy the second half around the warmth of HD. A 10th victory in hand, we headed across town to my sister's and had a wonderful meal and peaceful conversation.

I wasn't forced to take off my sporty LA Dodger crocs and no one challenged the concept of watching football on Thanksgiving. (Thank you, baby Jesus!) Perhaps because two sisters and their families were absent, we avoided heated conversations about politics and/or religion. The only time my blood pressure rose was when host sister bragged about scoring tickets at the newest area casino to see Rick Springfield. (!!!)

All things considered, a pretty good Mandatory Family Togetherness Day. No hermaphrodite deer crossed my path and no family pets were shot. A Wisconsin family wasn't so lucky. A pet goat (that's right, that book W read to those school children on 9/11 wasn't fiction) was slain Saturday after a man returned home from hunting and got angry enough at his daughter and wife to take it out on the family pets, which were goats.

The wife's offense? She denied his request for her to bring home beer. The man was arrested later that day at a local bar.

Enough said really, but here's the report from the Appleton Post-Crescent.

Rural New London man accused of shooting pet goat after wife didn't buy beer

Incident spurred on after wife doesn't bring home beer

By Dan Wilson
Post-Crescent staff writer

WAUPACA — A rural New London man who was upset with his wife for not buying beer shot one of the family's two pet goats, prosecutors say.

Peter W. Mischler, 48, was charged Monday in Waupaca County Circuit Court with mistreatment of animals, possession of a firearm while intoxicated and disorderly conduct with a dangerous weapon.

Mischler was placed on a $1,000 cash bond by Circuit Judge Raymond Huber.

Huber set further proceedings for Tuesday.

According to the criminal complaint, Mischler came home Saturday from hunting and became angry with his 22-year-old daughter for letting the goats out and making a mess.

While she was talking on the phone to her mother, he told her to tell his wife to bring home some beer. His wife refused.

He then threatened to shoot the goats, the complaint says.

His wife soon arrived home, and while she and her daughter were inside, they heard four gunshots. They went outside and found one of the two goats, still alive, with its entrails hanging out. It had to be killed later by a sheriff's deputy.

It was unclear from the complaint if the second goat was harmed.

Mischler was arrested later that day at a local bar.

What gives?

It's all over but the clearing-out of the parking lot, and yes, it's getting a little random-- even more so than usual. Forgive me. I'm a little five-day-weekend antsy. But, before I hit the road, I've just gotta know, given the hits from North Carolina and Texas, both seeking our most popular Open Thread commodity within moments of each other: hermaphrodite deer. Is this some new Thanksgiving delicacy of which I'm not aware?

I love Wisconsin, but seriously!

They love to hunt in Wisconsin, perhaps too much, at least in the case of this disturbed young man in a wire story today. Come to think of it, that hermaphrodite deer story from a while back was also in Wisconsin. Coincidence?

SUPERIOR, Wis. (AP) -- A 20-year-old Superior man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer.

The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn.

"The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said.

Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision.

He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent.

Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court.

"The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."

Rebels without a cause

If nearly a week goes by without an original post, is a blog still relevant? Not if it never was, I suppose. It's not like readers were clamoring for more from this blog. In fact, no one even noticed when I posted -- and immediately retracted -- suggestions that I wished the vice president dead. I don't, of course. I have a much crueler fate in mind.

But this blog is telling, I think, as much in what's not said as what is. The aforementioned Dick Cheney flap, Ann Coulter's latest outrageous remarks, steamy photos of an American Idol contestant and Ahman Green's departure from the Green Bay Packers all happened this week and nary a mention was made here.

It's not that these issues -- and many more -- didn't spark our creative juices. It's just that politics, news and sports (#s 2-4 on our most frequent category topics) sometimes take a back seat to life (#1), parenting (#10), work (#16) and weather (#17).

As Al Gore was collecting an Oscar for his documentary on global warming, I was battling the worst case of spring fever I can remember. As a wacko Florida judge (pardon the redundancy) was determining Anna Nicole Smith's final resting place, I was editing obituaries for folks with far less fame, but no less a right to a dignified death. As Britney Spears was alternately checking in and out of rehab centers, tattoo parlors and beauty (?) shops, I was balancing the job for which I'm paid vs. the duties for which I've volunteered vs. the family that both makes it all possible and drives me to accomplish more.

So pardon me for not going to the trouble of inserting Technorati tags that don't work anyway. I'm done posting columns by Maureen Dowd and items about hermaphrodite deer in a desperate ploy to attract readers. I may still post those things, and Tavin videos too, but my motives have changed.

As grateful as I am for this forum, I see no need to pander to the audience. There's far too much of that as it is. I have things to say and I'll say them here. Whether anyone cares to read them is not my concern.

They're Multiplying (what else could they do?)

When evaluating hermaphrodite deer stories, one must weigh several criteria: was the deer in Wisconsin? did it have seven legs? and, most importantly, did anyone eat it? By those standards, this story is pretty weak. Nonetheless, I'm pretty sure that the open thread bylaws require me to post it. After all, hermaphrodite deer!

Florida Hunter Bags a Hermaphrodite Deer
Tallahassee, Fla. (AP) --
A DeBary man who was out hunting deer last fall got a big surprise when he took one of his deer into the check station.
Joe Stokes was deer hunting on public land in Sumter County on Nov. 12 and shot two deer, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reported.
When FWC senior wildlife technician Tim Farley logged in the deer, he discovered that one deer was a hermaphrodite, possessing both male and female reproductive organs. Farley also he logged in another hermaphrodite deer the day before.
"I've been doing this for 27 years, and I've only come across three deer that were 'true' hermaphrodites, those having all of the male and female sex organs," Farley said in a statement.
Robert Vanderhoof, the deer management coordinator for the FWC, said deer that are true hermaphrodites are extremely rare.

A milestone for our open thread

Not being the types to ignore a trumped-up milestone when it could be milked for a post instead, we bring you the 100th our open thread post since Election Night 2006. Though our statistics are padded by Lonnie's penchant for cut-and-paste (which he defends as a step above cut-and-run), you have to admire his persistence.

In a little over two months, we've spanned the globe, or at least the central time zone, to bring you the constant variety of sports, the thrill of politics, the agony of the news, and the rare but ever-popular hermaphrodite deer. Having inadvertently yet thoroughly ignored the community-building aspect of the blogosphere, we've been linked to but one blog (though we neither endorse nor oppose blogsforhillary.com) and have fielded a mere 80 publishable comments (though we're not very selective, as demonstrated by the number of "anonymous" comments).

Nonetheless, we've never failed to amuse ourselves, many of our friends, and at least a smattering of the hundreds (?) who wander by in search of the latest Mediacom/SinclairBroadcasting news or Maureen Dowd.

Up next: a nostalgic look at today's teenagers' lack of appreciation for a Rocky-inspired Tavin video shot during an ice storm at a Wisconsin baseball game. Would you expect anything else?

Only in Wisconsin: Hermaphrodite deer

From the Fond du Lac Reporter comes this gem.

What has seven legs, male and female reproductive organs and nub antlers? It sounds like a bad joke, but it's what Rick Lisko found in his driveway late last month.

Lisko hit the seven-legged nub buck while driving his truck through the woods along his mile-long driveway near Mud Lake, east of Waucousta in the Fond du Lac County town of Osceola on Nov. 22.

"It was definitely a freak of nature," Lisko said. "I guess it's a real rarity."


Lisko had slowed down as a buck and two does ran across the driveway.

"All of a sudden we felt the truck stop," he said.

The small buck had run underneath his truck, Lisko said. When he got out to look at the deer he noticed three- to four-inch appendages growing from the rear legs and later found a smaller appendage growing from one of the front legs.

"It's a pretty weird deer. It kind of gives you the creeps when you look at it," said Lisko, who described the extra legs as looking like "crab pinchers."

The appendages were moving when he first saw them, Lisko said.

"They were actually functional," he said.

Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources Warden Doug Bilgo came to Lisko's property to tag the deer.

"I have never seen anything like that in all the years that I've been working as a game warden and being a hunter myself," Bilgo said. "It wasn't anything grotesque or ugly or anything. It was just unusual that it would have those little appendages growing out like that."

Bilgo took pictures and sent the information to DNR wildlife managers. He thinks the anomaly is a birth defect.

John Hoffman has worked at Eden Meat Market — which processed over 1,000 deer this year — for over 40 years. He skinned the deer for Lisko.

"I see a lot of deer and I've never seen anything like that," he said. "It just was a rarity. It was something different that you never see."

Lisko, who bow hunts, said he had seen the deer before, but never realized it had extra appendages.

"We just thought it had swollen metatarsal glands," he said.

Lisko wonders what it would have looked like in a few years.

"I imagine the bigger it got, the longer these legs would get," he said, adding that it likely would have also grown antlers.

The unusual deer may bring financial rewards to Lisko. He said Bass Pro Shops has expressed interest in doing a full mount of the deer and putting it in one of its stores.

Hoffman and Bilgo said they were unaware the deer had male and female reproductive organs, as Lisko claims, because the deer had been gutted before either of them saw it. They both said the deer appeared to be completely healthy.

"And by the way, I did eat it," Lisko said. "It was tasty."