Less wisdom, but longer of tooth

After taking matters into my own hands -- rather tongue -- this afternoon regarding a fragment of wisdom tooth that remained in my mouth a quarter century after the rest were removed, I sure hope dental care is included in whatever solution we eventually achieve to this country's health care crisis.

Following my semi-annual cleaning and checkup, complete with x-rays, on May 23, I began to notice an intense sensitivity to cold beverages on the upper left side of my mouth. Summer and aversion to cold beverages -- particularly the adult variety -- don't mix well, so I went back to the dentist last Thursday. They took another x-ray, it had been 15 days after all, and noticed a tooth that was practically without roots.

This was no epiphany as the dentist has commented on my short roots twice a year since I began visiting him at least a decade ago. Apparently, short roots are the result of hurried orthodontia. While it would be easy to blame my orthodontist, I blame my mother. When I was contagious with chicken pox, she got the orthodontist to reschedule my monthly crank session for a Saturday when the office was normally closed.

This is the same woman who took me to the mall to have my wisdom teeth removed. Thank goodness we didn't live near the Mexico border. And why would anyone split the procedure in two when you can remove all four in one visit? Except they missed a piece.

It hasn't caused me any problems lo these many years, but has been a constant reminder of slipshod dentistry. Well, at my recent cleaning/checkup, the dentist noted how it wasn't even connected to anything and would eventually fall out "or I can take it out." On my return visit, he diagnosed a suspected abscessed tooth, prescribed antibiotics and pain medicine, and referred me to an endodontist.

Meanwhile, I've taken to drinking beer with a straw.

Today I went to the endodontist and am happy to report that the most painful part of the experience was having an old high school classmate as the assistant. I handed her the x-ray taken four days ago, but of course they needed another one. The endodontist determined the tooth couldn't be saved and had to be removed, for which I would have to return to my dentist. Argh!

He also noted my residual wisdom tooth and said the dentist could remove that too, but it'll cost extra. Too small and deep to reach with my fingers, I redoubled my efforts to dislodge the tooth with my tongue. By the time I arrived home I had succeeded, wondering if I could submit a claim for my efforts to the insurance company or if the tooth fairy would pay me a visit.

I return to the dentist Wednesday hoping to end this saga once and for all. They'll probably take another x-ray (they should replace that winding sound with a cash register ca-ching), but they won't get a dime for removing that wisdom tooth.