Greed, Inc.

The world being such a big, bad place, it's a real comfort to know that I can count on others to look out for me and the rest of the little people. Others, for instance, like the giant multi-state power utility that, most of the time, supplies our electricity.

Why, just this week I received a letter from them explaining their new "Customer Elect Plan." Once I stopped laughing at their professed "commitment to safety, service and the seamless delivery of power to [my] home," I learned that Ameren has figured out a way for their customers who are just scraping by to afford both power and food despite the newly jacked up electric rates-- at least until 2010.

What is the Customer Elect Plan? Why, it's an opportunity to pay interest on one's power bill! If that's not America, I don't know what is, but it did remind me of Stephen Colbert's take on Bush's SOTU health care-tax break "plan":

"It's so simple. Most people who couldn't afford health insurance also are too poor to owe taxes. But...if you give them a deduction from their taxes they don't owe, they can use the money they're not getting back from what they haven't given to buy the health care they can't afford."

With Ameren's plan, customers' bills will "only" increase 14 percent each year through 2009. The rest of the increase (which will far exceed 14 percent) will be deferred and accrue interest at a rate of 3.25 percent. Starting in 2010, those customers will pay 100 percent of their current bill, plus the portion of the previous bills they never paid, plus interest, for 36 months. So, don't pay what you can't afford now so you can really not afford it later. Priceless!

Around here, people may not always have electricity, and they may not always be able to afford it when they do, but at least they'll always have Ameren's goodwill to keep them warm.