thinking and rethinking

"I thought he retired." On the surface, a straightforward question, but I'm not explaining now. I brush the on-looker aside and gesture for my mother to continue.

"You say now he's reporting for camp?"

"That's what I read on the internet this morning." And I'm halfway through my follow-up question when I laugh at how pointless it is. As if even any of the main stupid people--and I'm counting quarterback, coach, agent, GM--whoever--has any idea how these shenanigans will end. Bad or worse, salvaged or not. It's all just some shade of ruined compared to what it should have been.

And yet I read the headlines and columns, watch the videos, and page through far too many comments on ESPN and PackersNews. As if there are any opinions that actually matter, anything to know before it happens, as if I really want anything but to be able to enjoy some football. I haven't wasted this much time on bad soap opera since Bo and Hope got married the summer I turned sixteen.

Knowing that, trying to save my sanity, I head to the main website, save the schedule to my desktop, look forward to the coming days of, I hope, sit down, shut up and play. And then I wander through the Pro Shop, look at the stuff I already have and what I might want to buy. I see this shirt that I never got because I couldn't decide if it was too girlie--though at least it isn't cancer pink--and I ponder it again. Thanks 4 the memories? Up through March, absolutely and always. Here lately, not so much.