Sold Out

As was inevitable, A-B agreed to become A-BInBev tonight. So, to mark the occasion, here's something from Chuck, whoever Chuck may be. Back in June, he wrote this pitch-perfect parody, if that's the word, of one of the Real Men of Genius Bud Light ads in the comments section of one of the million and twelve articles about the take over that have been posted on Stltoday.com. So, watch an original and get the tune in your head, and then read his:





Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes
(Real American Heroes)

Today we salute you, Mister Big Company Corporate Board Member
(Mister Big Company Corporate Board Member)

You started a glorious career with only one thing in mind. To reach the top. And clawed your way up the corporate ladder, stepping on, I don't know how many people to get there.
(Get out of my way)

It takes a lot of really hard work to turn a five foot cubicle into a fifty foot long table. And while your coworkers were being thrown out onto the street, you didn't falter one bit. Not you.
(I made it)

It must be comforting to know that when the employees merely sell the goods, you can buy and sell the company.
(The whole enchilada)

Anyone can learn how to read spreadsheets and count profits. But it takes real talent to light up a big cigar and make those really tough decisions.
(Whatever, Dude)

So polish up that parachute and crack open a cold one 'o surrogate of the shareholder.
(Wax on…)
Because when it comes to No. 2; well, that's really for everyone else.
(Number two)
Bud Light Beer, Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis Missouri
— Chuck 4:24 pm June 12th, 2008