About that hammer

I know that it will not come as shock that there were no literal Hammers of Justice at my conference this week; heck, they didn't even pass out any tote bags in which to sneak potential head-cracking weapons past security. Budget cuts are a bitch. I was hoping, though, to post my "prove-you-attended-and-didn't-slack" certificate behind my desk. Hammer of Justice? Best conference theme ever, hands down, and the implied threat kind of works for me. But apparently it didn't work for whomever printed up the certificates, because when I took it out of the envelope, I was sorely disappointed. All I got credit for was attending something called "If I Had a Hammer 2007." IF I had a hammer? Well, I tell you one thing, IF I had a hammer, especially a Hammer of Justice, I certainly wouldn't be here! There's way too much work to be done.