An ass-centric (or is that ass-oteric) list of What Mary Learned in St. Louis

As a variation on my sporadic travelogue Top Tens, a list compiled from an old friend's return home from The Big City:

1. Corn husks are not for eatin'.

2. Sometimes you have to touch the bellybutton to get what you want.

3. Ass crack is back.

4. American League? Vote for the Canadians.

5. The International Space Station is, believe it or not, in Space.

6. Two shower heads are not, after all, better than one.

7. The bartender at The Tin Can does everything half-assed. Literally.

8. "I'm a brother, as you can see."

9. Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for, "the cab is never gonna come."

10. Something funnier, but I forget.